This song is fitting for my current mood. I’m very sad that sometimes it is hard to find self-worth in my personality and talents… When the rest of the world is geared for superficial perfection.
At this point, I think my introspection may have finally caught up to my spewing, loud mouthed, extraversion…. More and more, I find myself at a loss when passing ideas onto others. Or maybe I just don’t feel it’s fair, because the ideas they are passing back, more often than not, make me feel empty and alone. Who knows how MY crazy makes others feel. I wonder if it burdens them like passed judgement, or pity… Maybe this is an innate human insecurity… to over analyze what others think of you.
But how people differ is represented by the ways they cope with never fully understanding where they stand in the world… or to others. The scary part is the status quo for filling the meaningless void of insecurity. Artificially produced happiness to keep us from thinking about our unending march toward oblivion. Yes, I may be rambling about consumerism again… But also, quick fix problem solving that only leads us to the insatiable desires to consume more and care less. Shopping, power trips, drugs and alcohol, plastic surgery, fame, fortune. What do people really desire? Love? A sense of belonging? Attention?
Ugh! It’s so tiring, and I’m certainly guilty of the same. I think in a way, my urgency to be different and unique is how I make myself feel better about feeling… well… different and unique. I also have a very serious problem with split personality disorder (but that has already been explained in another blog.) Rereading the aforementioned blog, I now feel like a regurgitating hack. 😉
But, ultimately, I need to remember that making people smile, laugh, or feel special is a renewable resource that will never require consuming an artificial, oblivion numbing, means to an end. ALWAYS try to find the beauty in someone, some being, some piece of nature, some object of character…. rather than some hollow way to accept yourself.
said the emo-weirdo-girl.