Where Have All the Average People Gone

Posted: August 9, 2011 in music, random
Tags: , , , , , ,

This song is fitting for my current mood. I’m very sad that sometimes it is hard to find self-worth in my personality and talents… When the rest of the world is geared for superficial perfection.

At this point, I think my introspection may have finally caught up to my spewing, loud mouthed, extraversion….  More and more, I find myself at a loss when passing ideas onto others.  Or maybe I just don’t feel it’s fair, because the ideas they are passing back, more often than not, make me feel empty and alone. Who knows how MY crazy makes others feel.  I wonder if it burdens them like passed judgement, or pity… Maybe this is an innate human insecurity… to over analyze what others think of you. 

But how people differ is represented by the ways they cope with never fully understanding where they stand in the world… or to others.  The scary part is the status quo for filling the meaningless void of insecurity.  Artificially produced happiness to keep us from thinking about our unending march toward oblivion.  Yes, I may be rambling about consumerism again… But also, quick fix problem solving that only leads us to the insatiable desires to consume more and care less.  Shopping, power trips, drugs and alcohol, plastic surgery, fame, fortune.  What do people really desire?  Love?  A sense of belonging?  Attention?

Ugh!  It’s so tiring, and I’m certainly guilty of the same. I think in a way, my urgency to be different and unique is how I make myself feel better about feeling… well… different and unique.  I also have a very serious problem with split personality disorder (but that has already been explained in another blog.) Rereading the aforementioned blog, I now feel like a regurgitating hack. 😉

But, ultimately, I need to remember that making people smile, laugh, or feel special is a renewable resource that will never require consuming an artificial, oblivion numbing, means to an end.  ALWAYS try to find the beauty in someone, some being, some piece of nature, some object of character…. rather than some hollow way to accept yourself.

said the emo-weirdo-girl.

  1. Danny says:

    Introspective extrovert. Sara…Sara…Sara, you’ve got so much creative talent and energy that life’s day to day challenges of being a mother, wife, community leader, super hero, etc., don’t always allow for you to express it in it’s raw unfiltered form. I had a period out in Texas to where i didn’t look forward to hanging out with people/strangers because of my lack of anything interesting to say. I still struggle with this at times. I turn it on it’s head by tring to figure out how to make that person smile instead of wooing them with words. I’m also the most unorganized person you’ll ever meet in you life. It drives me CRAZY. I like things to be neat and in order, but my natural tendency is to cause unintentional disorder and chaos…argh! Reading a book called “It’s hard to make a difference when you can’t find your keys.” I think it’s helping…I only lost my keys once today.:) I like how your post ended in finding beauty in people and things. That’s a beautiful characteristic to have…and quite uncommon. You’re great at making people smile. That’s awesome man! Next time we hang out trip over someting, stub your toe, accidentally spill a beer on Peter or Bubba, or surprise me with a song that will rock my face off. You’ll be sure and get a smile out of me without saying a single word! 🙂

  2. Sara says:

    We are carved from the same stone! But unintential choas sounds much better than scatter-brained day-dreamers! HA! I need that book for sure! Sometimes I just feel like every personality trait I have collides with the others. Messy order, modest but crazy, loud and obnoxious but needy for acceptance. I think your beer plan sounds fantastic… And even more rewarding knowing that they will never know it was our plan all along! 😉 Thank you for always giving me a smile.

  3. Kate says:

    We can never really know what other people think of us, and we can’t control it either, which I think is tough for a lot of us. We want people to like us and only see the best things about us, but the best things about us are different to different people, ya know?

    One of the things that always struck me about you, in the first couple of years I knew you, was how you thought almost everyone was beautiful. You actually made me look at people differently; you made me see what you saw.

    The things you don’t like about yourself, the “spewing, loud mouthed, extraversion”, the split personality disorder, have always been some of my favorite things about you.

    The American Dream is so tiring to me, and something I can’t relate to. Having a fancy car and all the trendy appointments in a new house and the newest electronics and expensive clothing and all that stuff – there’s just so much pressure to keep up with the Joneses and have things just for the sake of having things. The older I get, the harder I find it to relate to new people. It seems these are the things that are important to most people in their 30s, and I find myself apologizing for driving an older car or for my house not being perfect or for wearing yoga pants every day because they’re comfortable. Then I start to feel defensive. But really, I don’t think others give a damn about my choices, any more than I give a damn about theirs – meaning, I don’t look down on them for theirs, so why should I think they look down on me for mine? I have plenty of friends that have and want all of these things and it doesn’t bother me. I have to do what makes me happy, while not making other people feel defensive about their choices.

    Well, I’m just rambling now. I do think you get what you give, and if you make an effort to make people smile and feel special, they’ll usually respond in kind. Those that don’t, just move on from them if you can. If we were all the same, life would be pretty boring, wouldn’t it?

    • Sara says:

      I can’t believe I didn’t see this comment!!! Maybe now I just need to focus more on the people I have met in my life that I cherish… like you… your bravery and honesty. And you hit the nail on the head… I can’t stand listening to peoples’ status garbage. I’m finding it harder and harder to see what I want to see in people. And it scares the hell out of me, because I am NOT a cynic! And just moving on from the people that make you feel like crap has always been hard for me. I don’t know if it’s because I need acceptance, or if I think I can change them… Little Miss Sunshine style. And being headstrong is also frustrating when you second guess your word vomit at every turn.

      But words always flowed freely with us, Kate! And I never had to hide any part of myself from you… because you were never one of those people. 🙂

  4. Misti says:

    *hugs* because I know how you feel. I have a hard time articulating my thoughts and ideas at times, even to my husband and it is infuriating because then I just feel like an idiot.

    • Sara says:

      Thanks Misti! And I wish you luck with your newest endeavour!!! So happy for you… can’t wait to see what you do with a yard of your own! 🙂

  5. Kate says:

    Aw, I heart you, Sara!

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