The Dirty Blog

Posted: April 16, 2010 in random

My husband and I are the odd couple… One of us is neat and responsible, and the other (IE: ME), laid-back and slovenly. I really hate to define my level of cleanliness as irresponsible because, after all, I’m not that bad (in the classic words of someone making excuses for themself.) All too often, I find myself feeling like a walking contradiction. I am fearless, bold, and determined when I am tackling a project that excites and challenges me… but worthless when it comes to the everyday chores of being a CLEAN. I am described by my brother-in-law as a modern day hippie, yet as a teen I battled with an excruciating insecurity of being seen without makeup… so much so, that I used to spend two hours of my day getting ready and I refused to let even my closest friends see me without my face on. Oh, how things have changed! Now I rarely wear make-up at all if I’m not working… and I even go bare when I know the office harpies are not going to be in. Two kids, a weekly mountain of laundry, and a new found security in my natural attributes, or rather, a new found care-free attitude that comes with being 30, has brought me to my current contradiction. I keep a tidy enough house that even Peter can be proud… ok, that was a lie. But he’s worse than most peoples mothers, white gloves bad… but the exchange? I have been camping in my own life.

Deep breath… On the way home from dropping the kids off at school I decided to call a guy friend, that shall remain nameless, to see if I could stop by for coffee.

“Sure! When are you coming over?”

I replied that I was just right down the street, and my friend scoffed that he hadn’t even showered.

To which I replied, “Well, I haven’t showered in three days.”

The stunned silence was followed by a you’re kidding me laugh. So on the defense I said, “Well, you’re a guy, so stop being a girl and start making coffee.”

When I arrived, I could see how uncomfortable he was being ‘dirty’. And I started wondering why I didn’t have that same feeling of shame. Which lead to an interesting line of conversation. Apparently, there are other things that I need to add to my growing list of need to know cleanliness rules. Like NOT using the same poofy scrubber as another person in your household. And also that men should have ‘man cloths’ and ‘man smelling soap’. I felt a tinge of remorse for poor Peter, when, at that moment I thought about the berry scented community bottle of bodywash sitting in our shower… and the lone pink poofy.

I think I may have arrived at this place because of my tenacity to spend every moment doing something exciting and/or challenging. While I was painting my last mural I barely slept, hardly wore make-up, and NEVER folded the last dreaded load of laundry decaying in the dryer. And with anticipation of spring and all of this beautiful weather, who wants to waste an hour of time if they don’t have to?! Pardon me, but I’m opting NOT to shower and instead go play outside with the kids… which makes my non-showering even grosser actually. Maybe it’s just a weird Gary Busey phase or something.

After coffee I had decided to hurry home and shower finally… but I didn’t. Because I’m dirty. 4 days. That’s a record for not being in a tent somewhere.

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Comments
  1. Panamá Jeff says:

    You are dirty! If I have nothing going on…I won’t shower for a few days either but I imagine that you are like me, I can go days without showering and still smell better than some who showered that very morning.

  2. Lonestar says:

    FYI man, alright. You could sit at home, and do like absolutely nothing, and your name goes through like 17 computers a day. 1984? Yeah right, man. That’s a typo. Orwell is here now. He’s livin’ large. We have no names, man. No names. We are nameless!

  3. Sara says:

    Mess with the best, die like the rest.

  4. Lonestar says:

    I am really “something” that that wierd cleanly friend of yours would put you on the defense about your freedom of being el naturale’! You go girl and be your dirty self! you don’t smell so who cares! I’m sure he, this nameless dude amigo of yours, is “something” knowing he made you doubt your awsomeness where he was i’m sure goofing with you, cause he’s comfortable with the chemsitry you share. Just don’t let your head swell with dirty confidence cause your cool enough to pull it off, then the 50 cent hats won’t fit.

  5. Sara says:

    I think you’re insane Lonestar… but the best people always are. 😉

    AND FYI there’s no shame to my game!

  6. Cayce80 says:

    I totally understand this. It’s weird b/c I’m a germaphobe and am SUPER OCD about germs and my daily routine. I don’t like to stray from my plans/routine. BUT…I can be pretty messy and I don’t shower every day. I think some people need to and some don’t. Americans are a little too obsessed with this in my opinion. My dermatologist actually told me NOT to shower everyday because I have such dry, sensitive skin and I kept breaking out in eczema and rashes. So now I shower only after my workouts (four times a week) or if I get extremely gross sweaty (which will start happening this Summer just from stepping out to get the mail…reasons why I LOATHE Texas Summers). Anyhoo…I get this. 😉

  7. Lonestar says:

    To truely understand insanity is ingenious! Now are we talking drinking games?! 😉

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