Secret Telling

Posted: July 6, 2009 in nostalgia

Do you ever feel like you’ve run out of things to say to people? And believe you me… that is a pretty impossible feat for me to accomplish. Sometimes I think it has a lot to do with my mood. Usually my happy free-flowing optimism comes so easily, but this past week I’ve been in ‘quiet’ mode, more or less. And sometimes I think it’s the company, IE: people who get bored of listening to my random, haphazard conversation style. I would like to believe that I am not one of those people who just waits for you to stop talking, so I can start talking again…. And certainly, I will apologize plenty more than necessary if/when I interrupt people. 🙂

I guess what I’m saying is, I try to read people, and if they’re not feeling my conversation, then why even bother? Do all people feel that way? Is that what a horriblelistener would say? Usually I don’t really care and I keep bubbling on regardless, but this week was different. I actually felt the urge to STOP talking. I mean, whats up with that!? And if the conversation isn’t coming back when I do actually stop to take a breath… what then? Enjoy the silence? Maybe I hate silence? That can’t be true, can it? I’m a peaceful person, I enjoy natures silences… is that an oxymoron? Don’t get me wrong, I’m also a catalyst for activity, for chaos, for music, for entertainment. Possibly I’m just tired. Tired of being the entertainment. I’m not really that funny, but I think my self-deprecating humor could put the most timid of ‘bumps on the log’ at ease. I love being the victim of the butt of a joke… because you know what? I can take it.

Maybe I‘m the oxyMORON…



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